The Answer to Faith Anxiety (Scrupulosity) Is Probably Not What You Think
One of my favorite topics to help people with in counseling is religious anxiety, which is often known as scrupulosity. I get the opportunity not just to help somebody break a bad habit, begin to resolve a fear, or realize how strong they actually are, but I get to be a part of a process where they discover joy in their faith without having to cut corners, leave the faith, or adopt loose doctrine.
In my experience, people struggling with religious scrupulosity are asking some variation of these three broad questions:
Am I going to hell because I didn’t get something right?
Have I messed up God’s will for my life through my sin, by not hearing His voice, picking the wrong career, or choosing the wrong partner?
If I don’t pray, confess, attend services, or feel a certain way about scripture or church, does that mean something bad is going to happen?
Everyone struggling with some form of these questions has a story that makes one of them stand out and feel like a raw nerve whenever it gets triggered.
When someone comes to me struggling with one of these topics, I know that they are hoping I can do something for them that nobody can do. It is like they have been digging a hole where they think that if they dig deep enough with their shovel, they will find the logic, the theological paradigm, the verse, or the book that gives them the answer that finally unlocks their mind around their struggle. They sit on my couch, they visit the pastor, or they visit the professor, and they hope that we will hand them the shovel that will defeat all shovels. They hope we will help them dig for the bit of information or reassurance they’ve been searching for all along. I anticipate this disappointment every time, and I try to break it to the client lightly. Treatment that works for this kind of stuckness looks more like putting the shovel down rather than grabbing a bigger shovel that digs even better.
As you recover, you learn to rest in the character and sufficiency of God rather than your own character and sufficiency. You learn to accept some mystery and confusion about how God works without trying to fully resolve it. If all goes well, you learn how to enjoy God as a father and a friend and a good king rather than constantly fearing the consequences of getting something wrong.
Many mental health professionals who have read the writings and biographies of Martin Luther say that he probably struggled with religious scrupulosity, which is a subtype of OCD. It is fascinating to consider how his potential struggle with anxiety was a big part of the Reformation. It is important that we see that our struggles are not all loss. Often they are both our weakness and our greatest strength, and God has the power to redeem all of it.
There are many passages of scripture that defeat these questions on a theological level. See Romans 8. But I want you to consider a story from scripture rather than a logical argument because we know that much anxiety, especially OCD, does not respond well to logical arguments.
“When they had sung the hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. Then Jesus said to them, ‘You will all become deserters because of me this night, for it is written, “I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.” But after I am raised up, I will go ahead of you to Galilee.’ Peter said to him, ‘Though all become deserters because of you, I will never desert you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Truly I tell you, this very night, before the cock crows, you will deny me three times.’ Peter said to him, ‘Even though I must die with you, I will not deny you.’ And so said all the disciples.”
Matthew 26:30–35
Peter has been walking hand in hand with Jesus for years at this point. He desperately, like those struggling with religious scrupulosity, wanted to get it right. Yet Jesus looks him and the other disciples straight in the face and says, you are going to mess up, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. Do not let your mind go down a rabbit hole of theological arguments about predestination or free will at this point. Just accept it for what it is.
Faithfulness is the goal, yes, but our perfect faithfulness is not totally up to us. And there is grace for that. The only way Peter and the disciples could have avoided the utter agony and regret they felt after denying the one they had just claimed was the Christ would be to never have known him at all. They could have remained fishermen and tax collectors who never went on the great adventure of knowing the one true God in flesh. I do not think any of them would go back and give up knowing God just to avoid the anxiety and pain they felt. Those who struggle with this type of anxiety often take this route out of pain by distancing themselves from God so they don’t have to feel the pain of messing up. It doesn’t have to be this way.
I will leave you with this prayer from Eugene Peterson:
“I am grateful, God, that your plans do not depend upon my loyalty,
that your salvation is not contingent on my steadfastness.
Your resurrection takes place anyway.
All praise to you, O God. Amen.”
If this is you, please know that you don’t have to stay stuck in misery. It’s hard work, but you can reach a place where your faith is more of a source of strength and joy than of fear and dread.
