Is it OCD or a Real Problem? How to Decide if Your Worry Needs Action
Most of this came from my whiteboard while working with many clients with OCD today. They’re learning how to ignore the false alarms, and you can too!
1. Do I have STRONG sensory evidence that my concern is true?
Sensory Evidence: Can I taste, touch, see, hear, smell, or feel physical evidence? (Note: A "feeling" of dread or a "doubt" does not count as sensory evidence.)
AND
Common Sense Opinions: Would 75%+ of people or multiple experts agree that I need to address this?
You need some of both to decide to act. If you don’t have both, the worry does not need to be addressed. Go do something fun instead.
2. Is there anything I really need to do about this that I haven’t already done?
If the answer is "not right now, but maybe later if it doesn’t get better" (for example, a physical ailment), write down your parameters for how you will address it if it persists or worsens. Once the plan is written, your "work" is done for now. Stick with your plan. Go do something fun instead.
3. Even though I’ve answered 1 & 2, my brain feels on fire... what now?
OCD is creating impulses in you to check, seek reassurance, avoid, or try to be certain. To recover, you must look for ways to do the opposite of what the OCD is telling you to do.
Example of OCD worry from my household:
We are making a pitcher of formula for the baby, and someone washes utensils in the nearby sink that touched raw chicken. It’s possible that chicken water splashed into the formula. Is there evidence that the whole pitcher of formula needs to be thrown out?
Sensory Evidence: Although the results could be serious, there is no strong sensory evidence that proves we should pour it out. No one actually witnessed a drop of chicken juice go into the formula.
Common Sense: Most people would agree that the odds of contamination are low enough to consume the formula anyway.
The best choice is to do the opposite of what the OCD is telling you to do: Give the baby the formula and don’t look up answers online about whether that’s a good idea or not. Ask only one trustworthy person if you must. Don’t call your aunt. Don’t phone another friend. Take the risk and give it… quickly before you change your mind.
Why does this work?
When you compulsively seek certainty, your fears and "possibilities" start to feel more valid and factual.
When you expose yourself to those fears and possibilities regardless of how you feel, you become better able to hold your fears as unlikely possibilities and false signals.
Doing the opposite of what OCD tells you to do makes you believe those false signals are actually false and provides emotional relief. Information alone cannot achieve that for you.
Example of Non-OCD worry from my household:
We are about to use the stroller for the first time in months, and my wife asks me to check it for mouse poop (these examples make us seem gross). Is this an OCD fear that needs to be tolerated and ignored or does it need to be addressed?
Sensory Evidence: There has been mouse poop in the stroller before, and we saw a mouse in the garage about 6 weeks ago.
Common Sense: Given the above information, most people would agree that it’s not a bad idea to check before your kids get in the stroller and get mouse poop on them.
Checking is quick, my doubt resolves quickly, and I don’t feel stuck in a doubt loop afterwards.
