The 2 Learned Skills That Make OCD Better
I don’t think there is one perfect answer that explains how OCD sufferers get better. We know they get better through Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), but that’s like saying your specific injury gets better with physical therapy. But who do I see? What exercises are best? Two physical therapists told me to do totally different exercises.
Just like the body, the mind and emotions heal only with a customized treatment plan that takes into account your history, the specifics of the problem, and your end goals.
If you’re looking for answers to how you’re going to get past OCD, there are two things that have to occur.
First, you have to learn to tolerate the thoughts and feelings OCD throws at you. I don’t think habituation (learning to tolerate discomfort by exposing yourself to it) is the whole answer to how OCD gets better, but it is undeniably part of the equation. You can’t stop compulsions and avoid avoidance of triggers without at least a little habituation. Some treatments are solely based on exposures that put you in positions to face your fears and therefore habituate to the thoughts and feelings those situations cause. That’s not a bad starting point, but it misses a lot of skills and learning that could help the OCD sufferer feel good instead of just tolerating their minds. To put it succinctly: habituation is necessary for healing, but it is not sufficient for healing. It’s the surgery that removes the problem but doesn’t also help you get back to feeling and looking good again.
The second skill you have to learn is how to shift your attention away from the questions that OCD wants you to problem-solve for. Notice I said QUESTIONS, not thoughts. Don’t try to delete the thoughts, but DO try to avoid answering questions about those thoughts.
“Why do I keep thinking this?”
“Does this thought mean I’m capable of something bad?”
“Does this thought mean I should avoid ______?”
Thoughts don’t keep you stuck. Answering questions is a compulsion. Compulsions keep you stuck.
Remember Mario running across the grass and seeing the pipes he could use to transport to another level? Warp pipes, I just learned they are called via a Google search. In this metaphor, you are Mario and the warp pipes are your unwanted or distressing OCD thoughts. You have to learn how to jump on or over the pipe and keep moving. The pipes are unavoidable. The only way to avoid the pipes is to turn off the game. In this metaphor, that means avoiding anything that reminds you of the thoughts. That is simply not an option. We have lives to live, things to do, and people to love. We have to learn how to not get sucked down the pipe and be transported somewhere we don’t want to go. That’s what happens when you start answering questions about the thoughts in your head — you get transported. It’s ok to see the pipe (those unwanted thoughts) and even touch it, but it’s not ok to start to contend with the “what if” questions that would cause you to be transported to anxiety land.
This is actually a little bit of a controversial thing to say because OCD treatment that is fully focused on habituation as the treatment would say that what you need to do is focus on the thoughts until you no longer care that they are there. That works for some, but not for others. I’ll explain why in other posts that I will link.
If this brought up questions that you would like for me to try to address, please reach out HERE.
